The Bionic Salesman
Hainan, China

The kidneys are remarkable organs. They filter the entire body’s blood 60 times a day. Over an average lifetime, they filter more than a million litres of blood, breaking down proteins and carefully draining out the bad stuff and leaving the good stuff.

They are pieces of precision engineering that function so perfectly most of the time that most people just take them for granted. Nobody ever thinks of themselves as being a kidney success, and most people have no real idea what would happen to you if your kidneys stopped working.

A few months ago, I failed comprehensively at kidneys. I lost a war of attrition, over several decades, with an auto-immune disease. Mine are the kidneys that failed their exams repeatedly, dropped out of remedial class and now spend their days kicking cans and smoking fagbutts in the alley behind the supermarket.

And I can now tell you exactly what happens to you when your kidneys fail. Continue reading →